Breathing will hopefully get easier..

"You don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust, let go, and see what happens."

The mini freak outs are starting to happen. The one thing that they seem to be centralizing around is the fact the doctor will be cutting Pip's bone. I think having the previous surgery under our belt is helping with the fact he'll be cutting her open again. The previous rounds of anaesthesia and her coming out really well don't have me too worried.

I know this is what he's chosen as his life's profession. I know this isn't what he'd be doing if he didn't love doing it, helping kids. But I can't help these feelings, these thoughts. I'm sure everything will go great, but until that day. Until I'm in the recovery room with her, hearing that everything went smoothly.. I'll worry. I'll have my mini freakouts. Because I'm her mom.

So far(after this one), we're tied on surgeries. Soon, my two year old will have more major surgeries under her belt than I have had in my 28 years of existence. No one wants to think about that.

Now, letting go.. I'm letting go of the fact that this is no longer in my control. In order for her to get better, for her not to need a new hip at my age, for her to not be in pain(I hope) when she gets older.. I have to get through this now to hopefully prevent it then. I'm letting go of my emotions, per say. I'm a nervous wreck but I'm not letting that stop this surgery. I'm trying to look at this as bettering her future.

Breathing? I'm hoping it'll come soon. No one really goes into a hospital 100% ready to do this. 100% calm and collected. Things will change a week and a half from now. And hopefully for the better.

Her pre-op appointment was today. Got to Pensacola quite early so we walked around Sam's Club for a bit. Headed over and got signed in. Not even sitting for 10 minutes and we got called back. The hubs didn't even make it up from parking the car yet. Ha. In the room, he finally made it up. We went over everything and she's fine. She's still coughing but I'm sure it'll be gone before the 8th. 6am is our check in time. And Wednesday we'll leave to come home as long her pain is under control.