I've been on a child hip dysplasia Facebook group every since we learned of Pip's diagnosis. They're been SUPER helpful in all my worries, with all my questions, and all the success stories. But a lot of posts cause me to reflect on our progress, our background and our future. I know when I started this blog, I gave a short background of Pip's birth and why(My story of why is on my Facebook), So I won't go into everything. I just want to go back to that day.. The day I don't know about what happened.. The day that no one really does, I'm sure it was a blur for those doctors and nurses as well. I know - from what my husband told me - I was terrified. They had to sedate me to clean out my lungs and put me on a respirator.. That's all that was supposed to happen. Unfortunately my heart couldn't handle it and stopped. So, they had to perform an emergency cesarean sections right there in my SICU room.They had time working against them and had to get the baby out, I'm sure. Any means possible. Hell, my scar runs vertical, not horizontal like my sons'. And it's crooked. Minor things really, even if I complain.
I'm sure Lainee was breech. I was just starting my 29th week of pregnancy, she was still really little and all over the place. I'm pretty positive she wasn't where he could grab her arm or head.. I'm sure it was her left leg. But she got out safely and we both made it past all this without any major complications. In the NICU, my husband and mother-in-law said that she always laid stretched out.. And in all her pictures she's out straight. Barely curled or any different position. And she's always been stubborn, so I'm sure she didn't let anyone manipulate her legs in many ways.
Let me add - I'm not blaming anyone, the doctor or nurses.. The only person I blame is myself, but I can't even do that 100%. People get sick, I get it. It could've happened even if I got my flu shot. I just try to go back to reason - mostly with myself - that this just happened. That things, big or small, just happen sometimes, and there's no stopping them. No "if I could go back.."s.. I don't know if her hip dysplasia outcome would have been different if I could go back. I know I'd get a flu shot, yes.. But would that have helped her situation now? The prematurity side, yes possibly. DDH? Who knows.
Tomorrow we go to follow up the MRI she had a week ago. And I'm sure we'll set the dreaded surgery date. In a way I'm looking forward to hr being immobile. She's really ready to start potty training.. So ready she'll strip her pjs off and diaper when she wakes before us in the mornings.. One morning was a nice poopy surprise. She also asks to go potty.. But once in there she'll sit for a minute then want off. It's a start, and I'd love to welcome it.. But I really don't want to push her to doing this just to have it taken away in a few weeks and her to possibly lose interest in returning to it once the cast comes off. So, we'll hold off.
After, and kinda before, the appointment in December I'v been paying close attention to how she walks. And she teeters a lot.. Which now makes much more sense since her left leg is longer. So part of me knows this is for the best.. But part of me still wishes it'd all be different.
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